so tired of it all. what life is there for me? all i do is Rag. if not rag, sleep.

i know i probably should not be complaining about it cos Garvin helped me with FOC stuff without complaints. so I should be helping him now since it is within my capacity to help him and I promised to help him. but rag can be so tiring. rag, eat, sleep. that's all there is.

and when i do go out with other people, ie taking a break from rag, i am so tired i wish i am not out with other people. i wish i have my own personal time to do my personal stuff and have enough sleep as well. I have no idea how the rest of the people in rag take it.

the BKK trip has been cancelled too. and Garvin is glad that it has been cancelled cos that meant i will be down for rag more often and i can understand his rationale too. i really do. I would be glad if i were him too. but i really do need a break. from everything.

i have not seen my family for ages, have not had a meal with them for ages too. home feels foreign and school feels familiar. i am not sure if i like that.

tomorrow: bbq
next week: possibly another bbq

owe meetings with my sec sch gfs, ocip good friends n pri sch friends. n i still have no time for myself cos my conscience is screaming out loud whenever i think of disappearing once and for all. give me strength til 8august.

-aeRieL-

aeRieL fell to the samurai's sword @ 1:49 AM