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Friday, October 13, 2006
been very sick for the past 3 days. woke up with a unbearable sore throat 3 days ago and then temperature climbed up to 38.0 deg C on the same night. my mom forced down penadols and there was no more fever. den second day only have sore throat. today it got worse. i think my esophagus( however u spell it) is inflammed. fucking painful. feels like i'm having throat cancer likdat. and then everytime i cough, my head aches. at the temples.. dammit. wad the hell's wrong with me. and i'm drinking the amt of water i drink in 4 days in 1 day now.
then i become very paranoid. thinking that i have throat cancer of the last stage, then only got 1 month to live. damn, i was rejoicing in my head as i worked out the scenario. i was thinking that i will reject treatment at the hospital, go for the OCIP, then come back and die peacefully at hme. lol. cool eh. the best part, i realised i can fulfil my wish of dying early. and the bestest part, it doesnt matter whether i pass or fail the promos cos i'm gng to die anyway. den i tot of another scenario. the throat cancer at the 1st stage and i decided to go for chemothrapy. so as usual, all the hair will drop. den i will go to school BALD!!! how cool is that?! i like the idea of that too!! lol. but i dont think it's possible cos after doing the chemotherapy, one would be too weak to move ard, let alone go to a school so damn far from hme. got back chem(h1) paper ytd. overal just pass by sec sch standards but it's a D for the JC system. i think mr Tan kh will really die if he sees this. after all, he spent so much time last year making sure that our chem foundation is strong. haha. now, get this kind of results. the worst thing, i dunno how to do mole concept in the paper, which is supposed to be the easier thing ard alr. and the 3 steps mr tan taught still applies lor. sad la. actually i balanced the redox equation wrongly in the 1st place oso la. i rmb i took 2 whole years to understand the displacement equation in sec sch. lol. really pathetic. ok. i've been thinking of this for very long alr. if i fail, i have 2 options: 1. retain and go thru (the horrors of) JC1 again 2.go to SP to take up maritime transportation management or go some hospitality and managemant course oso can. but MTM comes 1st. this is so damn depressing. nvm. maybe the 1st scenario of the throat caner episode is true. den it wouldnt matter so much alr. =D *dun mind me. demented me. let me rant.* -aeRieL-
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